A Fiesty Morning
by sapofbks2008
Summary: Irie wakes up and reflects on his emotions in the morning while Kotoko just has to fight to make it to school on time.


I wake up and turn off the alarm I never use and then I think about killing my brother. Since I lost the privacy of having my own room, I have had to wake up to my brothers snoring every morning and I am slowly thinking about smothering him to death with his own pillow. How someone can be so small and make such noises… I have yet to figure out how it happens. Sometimes I'll throw something at him, most mornings I get up because I know it's not gonna do anything. This morning I decide I'm not gonna do anything.

When I first wake up in the morning I'm usually the first one up to get ready. The house is in a standstill today because no is awake yet. It doesn't happen that often when I can walk around the house and not really share it with anyone else. Its so quiet that it's a little eerie, but I enjoy it. When I wake up and have the house to myself, for those few moments I don't have to put any distance away from anyone and I don't have to act a certain way. I can be tired, I can wake up with a smile or… I can act any way I want.

I think everyone does it to a certain extent. They put on the face they have with everyone else and then they act a different way when they're on their own. I can't really tell you why I put so much distance between me and other people, I just know that I enjoy being able to wake up, walk around and not have to put that distance up.

I have found out that I have a rather strange habit of hanging out by Kotoko's door if I have a little time by myself in the morning. I'll admit that I'm a little concerned by my own behavior, but I spend so much time putting on an act of indifference around her that I like just being near her and not having to answer to anyone else about why.

It's a little creepy even to me but this way I can be near her and she won't know. I'm on the other side of the closed door I don't have to hide my feelings for her. I can admit that if I'm spending time with someone while they don't know… I might have to reevaluate my motives. I'm not even sure I can fully explain why I continue to do this. I think I've let it go too far and let it go on for too long, but even though I love her I also don't think I'm ready yet. I'm not groping the door or pawing at it. I just lean against the wall next to her door and wonder if they'll ever be a time where I will be allowed to be on the other side.

I don't think I'm ready to admit my feelings and have everything change. If I admit my feelings for Kotoko that means I have to let someone in and I don't know how to do that. I don't know if I would be able to handle a serious relationship. I just don't know how to deal with lot.

I hate the door because its a crutch and I hate crutches. I use a closed door to my advantage to I can be near someone when I should just admit how I feel. I'm a smart person but even I'll admit I came up with something really stupid.

Forget about the door.

In the morning I like being close to Kotoko and I like to allow myself to feel emotions toward Kotoko because no one is around to see me feel these emotions. The emotions I feel for Kotoko are new and I'm not familiar with them and I'm not ready to share them with her or others. But it's strange because I feel differently around her and now I have to act like everything is that same when its not. I think I need this time to myself or I'll crack and might start showing myself. If you ask me I'm allowed all the time to myself that I need. Once my mother finds out I'm love with Kotoko she'll have us down the isle so fast i won't know what hit me.

I smirk to myself because its true.

I try to talk myself into telling her… something. Sometimes, I just want to say something nice, but it almost never happens. Everyone else wakes up and fear overrides common sense, and I talk myself out of doing anything and I never even come close to changing how things are.

Part of this is fear and a lot of it is because I can't put the name of almost any of the feeling I have yet. I love Kotoko, I know that much, but I don't know if I'm getting my feelings confused. Kotoko has been with us a two years and she's apart of the family now and we all of us care about her. I just don't know if I'm _in love _with her of if I'm attracted to someone who I love…. I don't know if that made sense. Usually I'm a smart individual, but when you ask me to put names on my emotions, I don't have any idea what I'm talking about.

Kotoko and I are different people in the morning and it makes things easier on me. I think it's strange but I've spent a lot of time on this and I find humor in the fact that I think Kotoko rarely notices me in the morning and she's all I can think about. In the morning Kotoko is focused on so many different things because she saves everything for the last minute. She still looks at me, but then she's moved onto something else. And in the morning I have so much time to myself that all I can do is think of her.

I get up early, shower, change for school and… I have nothing to do…

After I've had my morning ritual in abnormal behavior, I go take my morning shower, and get ready for school. It amazes me that girls seem so interested in my looks when I spend I spend almost no time on how I look. I get in the shower, I wash, I get out, I comb my hair and I'm done. I do nothing to my hair and yet people always talk about how great it looks. I have yet to figure out why I'm so interesting to people. I'll admit that I sound a little douchey because I know I'm good looking so I shouldn't pretend that I don't know this, but I could be in the middle of the worst cold of my life, with snot hanging from my nose and someone would tell me I look amazing and I really don't see it.

After I've changed into my clothes I'm pretty much ready to go with nothing to do for awhile. Today, I go downstairs and find the book I've been reading. I get a cup of coffee and sit and the table and I read and I wait. My morning routine is done and I really don't do much in the morning, but everyone else's is about to start, and I like watching it happen. For example, my mother is going to come down in less than five minutes, she's going to go over to the pot of coffee I set up before I went to bed last night, and she's going to dump it because it's too strong for her.

Last week she insulted my coffee and said that it would save me a lot of time if I just ground up the coffee grinds and skipped the step of making coffee because it would taste the same.

I've been making her pay for that comment everyday. She used to suffer through my coffee, but that was before I added even more, and she's been dumping it ever since.

I do believe that this might have backfired on me because my coffee has been a little.. thicker than normal.

I look up from my book just as she's dumping all my hard work down the drain. "Must you waste." I chastive… because I'm an ass.

"Must you turn the coffee into something you could pave a road with."

My mother if feisty in the morning. She's one of many who hate to be up at this hour. Once she's done remaking the coffee she has to go wake up Yuuki and Kotoko. Waking up my brother and Kotoko at the same time is some of the best entertainment I will have all day. I don't think she see's it that way though. Kotoko's not that hard to wake up because she's older, but my brothers still that age where he doesn't move unless someones lighting the house on fire.

I believe that my mother has threatened that a time or two.

I hear the alarms start to go off but no ones gonna move. It's almost seven and this morning my mom just puts out pop tarts and cereal on the table.

I raise an eyebrow and she gives me the mom look.

"If you don't like what I make for breakfast, you can make it yourself." She grimaces at her work, but I know there are some days she doesn't have it in her to make a whole meal.

I take my place at the dining room table and eat some toasted healthy cereal crap because I can't admit to myself or others that I like the sugary stuff. It's one of the reasons I hate it when my mother doesn't cook breakfast.

It means I have to eat crap I hate because I'm stupid.

I tell myself its healthy for me and I suck it up, but seriously if I just licked the box, I think I would enjoy that more.

My mom goes up to wake everyone up.

My mother will knock on both doors come down give them about five minutes.

They never wake up. She goes up again. She knocks again and no one moves

Then my mom takes to shouting.

"Will someone please get up and get ready for school?!"

My brother tells her five more minutes my mother and they bicker. Kotoko never sleeps through the shouting so she wakes up and then she turns diabolical. Kotoko will do everything in her power to drive my brother insane in the morning. She only has fifty minutes to do it but every morning she does something to drive him up the wall. This morning she comes downstairs and grabs a pop tart.

She grabs it because my brother is gonna be up any minute and I think she has to have food in her system for whatever will come next. I swear. I have never seen her do it but when Kotoko wakes up I don't think she always showers. She shoves breakfast in her mouth and then she pretends to take forever getting ready to drive my brother up the wall.

Okay so here's how this is going to work. Kotoko runs upstairs, runs the shower. I know there are some days she actually showers, but other nights I've seen her take a shower the night before so I just don't see how she goes up and showers again…

Okay stop.

The girl I like is about to get naked in my home and pour water all over herself so she can wash. I've spent time on this. I am a guy. It happens. When Kotoko takes a shower I pay attention… all the while pretending to not pay attention. I have good reason to why I notice this particular moment in the day.

The funny thing I know she spends a lot of time up there but I really don't think she does anything in there.. I know shes gotta take some time to change and put on mascara or whatever makeup she chooses to wear for the day but I believe the other half is just messing with my brother because when she comes downstairs sometimes her hair looks the same. Its in the same pony tail that she had when she went up there or she just looks the same… not in a bad way but just in a way that I would notice because I spend a lot of time pretending I'm not looking at her.

This is not one of her more creative moments. Kotoko to date has:

"Accidentally" locked the bathroom door behind her.

"Misplaced" my brothers shampoo

She has let my brother use the bathroom first, but then she'll pound on the door and sing to get him to come out.

She's made my mother make schedules for bathroom use and then be five minutes late for the time she was to use the bathroom (that one actually did frustrate my mom. The grand debate on who uses the shower first if the person who's suppose to be in there is late is a rather tedious argument).

She left her box of tampons on the sink. (My brother had to know what they are so he read the instructions. Yuuki came out of the bathroom green that day.)

She's taken up waxing.

And finally she's turned the shower head towards the bathroom floor so my brother flooded the bathroom when he turned it on.

At the current moment my brother pounds on the door and then the blow dryer comes on. Kotoko does go many days where she just lives to drive Yuuki up the wall but in her defence my brother is a little tyrant who deserves most of it so no one says anything. My brother doesn't think the Kotoko is smart enough so he doesn't even realize that she's doing it on purpose.

I choose that moment to say my peace. "Would the two of you shut up!"

Not my most creative but then my brother gets riled and then Kotoko gets pissed and she'll flush the toilet before she leaves so my brother has to wait even longer for his shower.

My brother starts later than us because he's only in middle school so by then Kotoko and I only have about ten minutes but my brother has fourty. Kotoko has nothing put together so she'll run upstairs about two or three times and then I'll play my part and I'll leave without her, and she'll run to catch up. In the mornings I do nothing but think about Kotoko and make sure I don't say something stupid. The good thing about mornings it is that Kotoko is so busy being the person that I love that she never notices that mornings are when I love her most.

**Authors Note: I hope everyone liked this story. I actually didn't plan on writing this, but every once in awhile I will come back on here and I'll see the love and support I have from everyone. I want to say thank you to everyone who has ever taken the time to write a review or if you have even taken the time to favorite my work... I love all of it and you keep me from giving this up even.**


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